everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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