question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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