Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just found a bag of teeth...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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