Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
ttyl tear gas
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
