Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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