I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
