I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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