If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
