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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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