the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
