He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
