You're my little dorito
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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