you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
