ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
