you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
