he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize