if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
