Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
