i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you never un-have a 4some
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
