I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
