drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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