Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
