You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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