I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
