u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
