How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
