a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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