Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
