U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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