talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
