He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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