it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
