At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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