The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
