Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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