My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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