Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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