Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize