have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The convent might be a nice break from real life
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize