oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
