"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize