im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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