dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
