im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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