I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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