Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
