yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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