I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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