I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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