I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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