piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
