Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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