I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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