He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just fell off a train. Bad.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
