if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
