does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
