it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
